Visiting Our Parents: Why We Sometimes Feel Like Kids Again

Have you ever walked into your childhood home and suddenly felt like a teenager again? Maybe you find yourself reacting to your parents in ways you thought you’d outgrown—feeling sensitive, defensive, or just not quite like your adult self. This is something many people experience, and it’s completely normal.

At Rise Psychotherapy, we often talk about the inner child—the part of us that holds early memories, emotions, and needs. When we visit our parents, especially during big life changes or holidays, that inner child can wake up. It’s not a setback—it’s a chance to understand ourselves better.

Why This Happens

Our inner child shows up when we’re in familiar places or around people who remind us of the past. Old habits and roles can resurface, especially if we haven’t had a chance to update our boundaries or reflect on how we’ve grown. It’s a sign that something important is happening emotionally.

How to Stay Grounded as an Adult

Here are a few simple, research-backed ways to stay calm and present:

• Pause and reflect Before reacting, take a moment to consider what others might be feeling. This helps reduce tension and builds empathy.
• Reframe your thoughts If you catch yourself thinking “They’re criticising me again,” try shifting it to “They care, even if they don’t say it perfectly.”
• Use grounding techniques Feel your feet on the floor, take slow breaths, or notice your surroundings. These small actions help calm your nervous system.

Letting Your Inner Child Be Seen

While it’s important to stay grounded, it’s also healing to let your inner child feel safe and acknowledged. Nostalgia, playfulness, and vulnerability aren’t weaknesses—they’re ways we connect. You might try journaling, revisiting a comforting childhood activity, or simply being kind to yourself when old feelings come up.

Healing doesn’t mean getting rid of the past—it means making peace with it. You can be the adult who sets boundaries and the child who finds joy in old routines.

Resources for Further Exploration

Books

• The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk

Podcasts

• Unlocking Us by Brené Brown

Videos

• Peter Levine: How Trauma Gets Trapped in the Body
• Kristin Neff: Self-Compassion and Healing
• Dr Julie Smith: How to Cope with Emotional Overload

Final Thought

At Rise Psychotherapy, we believe healing is about reconnecting with all the parts of yourself—not becoming someone new. Visiting family can stir up old emotions, but it’s also a chance to grow. When you meet your inner child with compassion and your family with clarity, you create space for real transformation.

You’re not going backwards—you’re moving forward with greater awareness.